Why must there be fuzzy pink bunnies!
by Confused Yellow Stallion
Summary: / ABANDONED! /
1. Chapter 1

Disclaima: I'm not JK, cause then I wouldn't be writing fanfiction... I'd be writing my latest novel...

It was Harry's last visit to the Dursley's house, and soon, he would be rid of them forever. None other than the Lord Voldemort apparated in front of him, Harry grabbed his wand out of his back pocket, ready to fight. Voldemort put his finger up to his mouth and silently said a spell, pointing his wand at number 4 Privet Drive. The house went up in flames immediately, and was a pile of rubble in just seconds.

Harry wondered why Voldemort hadn't tried to kill him yet, and as he was looking through the rubble, he noticed all his belongings were completely unharmed. He also noticed the faces of his only living family members, dead, from the fire. Harry began laughing maniacally. If nothing else, he could just laugh.

"Great, isn't it?" Voldemort exclaimed to Harry.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Harry asked, apprehensively.

"Harry, don't you understand WHY I killed your parents? Why I just burned down this house right in front of you?"

"Umm, no?"

"Harry, I did this to save humankind. Petunia Dursley, your aunt, once told me that she would one day rule the world. That she would mutate the bunnies, so each and every person had a bunny for his or her self. And those bunnies, they would be.. Oh, how dare I say it... Pink." Voldemort looked ashamed to say the word aloud.

"NO! Anything but that! You're lying. She may be evil, but that's just sick." Voldemort just silently nodded.

"But why did you kill my parents?"

"I thought if I threatened to kill them, they would tell me where Petunia was. I never intended to kill them, but they said she would never do anything that terrible, and wouldn't tell me where she was. You see, your aunt was also in hiding. Wormtail knew where your parents were, but your aunt, he knew nothing about. Your parents were her secret keepers. But they wouldn't give her away. So they had to die. I'm sorry Harry." Harry began silently blubbering, he walked over to Voldemort and the two began singing.

"You and me

together will be

forever you'll see

we'll always be good company

you and me

yes together..."

Suddenly, the worst thing imaginable happened. Lord Voldemort turned into a pink bunny. One of those really scary ones with the big poufy tail where it's kinda like they spend all day, brushing their pouf, so it'll get bigger and bigger until one day it rules the world. But that's beyond my point here. You, see, because Voldemort turned into a pink bunny. And that is completely terrible for Harry, because Harry hates pink bunnies.

"No! You've betrayed me!" Lord Furrytail was, increasingly, becoming scarier by the seconds. Harry was about to crawl in a ditch, when he realized he had something better than pinkity... Ness... Harry had LOVE. (Cue magical butterflies and rainbows and heavenly lights) Harry put on his SUPERLOVERS costume, and yelled for all to hear

" SUPERLOVERS, UNITE!"

So all the SUPERLOVERS, hearing his plea, came running to Harry Potter's aid. Harry beat that little pink bunny with the help of his new friends. Unfortunately, someone saw everything that had went on, someone terrible.

The Boy Who Lived, The Boy Who Killed?

By Rita Skeeter

Everyone's favorite little hero has been up to some dangerous new activities. Like killing his family who has housed him after his real parents were murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named himself. It is believe that little Harry has joined Him, in his murderous activities.Where did our hero go wrong? What has happened to the world? Why isn't it butter!

This is Rita Skeeter, signing off.

AN: thanks for reading! If you people actually like it... Then click the button that says submit review, and a turtle will pop out of your computer...Don't ya just love sexy turtles? And if you don't like it, I shant continue it...


	2. Chapter 2

Why Must There Be Fuzzy Pink Bunnies

Part 2

I don't own Harry Potter, my best imaginary friend Bob does.

Harry sat on his cousin Dudley's head, which was shockingly very comfy and squishy in all the right places, as he read Rita Skeeter's article. Surely if the word got out, he'd be in Azkaban Prison. Harry couldn't believe Voldemort had betrayed him, he honestly couldn't. Who would've thunk the world's most sought after wizard was an animagus, and a pink bunny at that? No one would believe that the dead pink fuzzy tailed bunny was actually Voldemort.

So Harry thought up a plan that would keep him out of Azkaban, 'cause, you know, no one wants to go there. Once again that day, Harry got on his SUPERLOVERS costume and yelled to the world

"SUPERLOVERS, UNITE!" Unto which was replied with all the SUPERLOVERS coming back, complaining of too much "together time" and a lot of angry people yelling "SHUT THE F--- UP!"So Harry told the SUPERLOVERS his plan, and then they all got to work. But not like... That work...

So the very next day, as the world woke up, each and every single wizard or witch looked at the sky, unless they didn't, and saw, in bright pink clouds

"THIS IS LORD HE-WHO-HAS-VERY-LONG-NAME-ON-BIRTH-CERTIFICATE, HE IS ANIMAGUS, Y PINK BUNNYKINS. HE KILLED DURSLEYS! AND NOW HE IS DEAD!" to which there was an arrow pointing to a very fluffy pink cloud bunny. Not to be confused with the dead pink bunny which we know as Lord Voldemort, for he is dead.

So everybody looked at the sky and got on their HARRY POTTER IS LYING COSTUMES, paid for by Draco Malfoy, and pointed to the sky and said

"That is not true, LORD HE-WHO-SMELLS-KINDA-FUNNY is STILL ALIVE!" Harry didn't have a good reply for that, so he just stuck out his tounge.

"It is too true! And if Dumbledore were alive right now, he would definetly tell you so."

"ALL RIGHT HARRY, BRING IT FOR THE DEAD GUY!" Ginny screamed, because inside, she still loved Harry and wanted desperately to make him happy.

Dobby ran towards Harry and began sobbing.

"Why must you always bring up my very dead master? Isn't it bad enough that you made me leave my first master? Now you have to brag that my other master is dead?" Dobby stole all Harry's hats and put them on his head and ran away.

"Dobby, it's not like that... Dobby..." But Dobby didn't turn around. He couldn't, for his nose was growing so large, he couldn't turn his head if his life depended on it. But Dobby didn't tell Harry that, because he wanted to be dramatic.

Suddenly, Dobby ran straight into, dare I say it, a little blue bunny. Yes, they look better, but do they smell better? I think not. The bunny bit Dobby's large nose and poor little Dobby died.

Tune in next time... For Why Must There Be Fuzzy Pink Bunnies!

Thank you pchan for reviewing, don't worry, my stories do tend to have that effect on people.

Pinky Lillix, my reviewer whom I have never met before (cough) umm, scared the shit out of you? Am I just your stupid x-lax now? IS THAT REALLY ALL I'M GOOD FOR! It's Amanda, isn't it? ISN'T IT! I mean... I love you too, wifey... (Runs after Amanda with knife).


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